Monty My Little Pony and the Holy Grail
by General Jinjur
Summary: What happens when another Monty Python spoof appears? Oh no! It's the cute little ponies! This spoof has a tendency to get silly. Please r/r to help me with character ideas! Chapter one updated and chapter two up!
1. Coconuts and the Fruitless Search

I don't own squat, except my sanity which, I think is about to be repossessed, so quit asking!  
Coconuts and the Fruitless Search  
  
[Scene: A thick fog is seen. Through it, hoof beats are heard and a purple pony and bushwoolie appear at the crest of the hill. The pony trots on its hind legs as though riding a horse and the bushwoolie carries a large pack while banging coconuts together.]  
Pony: Whoa there!  
[The pair stops for a moment then continues down the hill toward a castle wall. A voice is heard from the battlements.]  
Voice: Halt! Who goes there?  
Pony: It is I, Majesty, daughter of Majestica Shieldbearer, from Dream Castle, Queen of the Ponies, defeater of baddies, Sovereign of all Ponyland!  
Voice: Pull the other one!  
Majesty: I am![looks to the bushwoolie] And this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Dream Castle. I must speak with your lord and master.  
Voice: What, ridden on a horse?  
Majesty: Yes.  
Voice: You're using coconuts!  
Majesty: What?  
Voice: You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging 'em together!  
[Majesty and Patsy look at each other]  
Majesty: So? We've ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through Flutter Valley, through-"  
Voice: Where'd you get the coconuts?  
Majesty: We found them.  
Voice: In Flutter Valley? The coconuts tropical!  
Majesty: What do you mean?  
Voice: Why, this is a temperate zone.  
Majesty: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the bunny or the chipmunk may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.  
Voice: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?  
Majesty: Not at all, they could be carried.  
Voice: What, a swallow carrying a coconut?  
Majesty: It could grip it by the husk.  
Voice: It's not a question of where it grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios  
[Patsy shrugs when Majesty looks at him]  
A five ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut.  
Majesty: [Getting annoyed] Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your lord and master that Majesty from the court of Dream Castle is here?  
Voice: Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second; am I right?  
Majesty: Please?!  
Voice: Am I right?  
Majesty: I'm not interested.  
Voice 2: It could be carried by an African swallow.  
Voice 1: Oh, yeah. An African swallow maybe, but not a Ponyland swallow, that's my point.  
Majesty: [Really angry] Ask your lord and master if he wants to join my court at Dream Castle!!  
Voice 1: But then, of course, African swallows are non-migratory.  
Voice 2: Oh, yeah  
Voice 1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.   
[Majesty and Patsy give up and leave, the pointless conversation continues.]  
Voice 2: Wait a minute, supposing two swallows carried it together?  
Voice 1: No, they'd have to carry it on a line.  
Voice 2: No, it's simple. They'd just use a strand of creeper.  
Voice 1: What? Held under the dorsal guiding feathers?  
Voice 2: Well, why not?  
[Scene: A muddy, dirty, smoozey village. Ponies roll in squalor on the ground. A boy walks beside a cart piled with filthy pony corpses. Every now and then the bangs a pot with a club.]  
Danny: Bring out yer dead! [Bang] Bring out yer dead! [Bang] Bring out yer dead! [Bang]  
[The cart-pushers and Danny stop at a house. A pony walks out with a body.]  
Danny: Nine bronze horseshoes. [Pony tosses body on cart and pays Danny.]  
Danny: Bring out yer dead! [Bang] Bring out yer dead! [Bang] Bring out yer dead! [Bang]  
[Stops at a miserable hovel, a nearby old mare is hitting a dirty-looking dragon against the wall. Gusty comes out carrying Fizzy on her back.]  
Gusty: [Sounding like Bart Simpson.] Here's one.  
Danny: Nine bronze horseshoes.  
Fizzy: [Squealing] I'm not dead!  
Danny: What?  
Gusty: Nothing, here's your nine bronze horseshoes.  
Fizzy: I'm not dead!  
Danny: She says she's not dead.  
Gusty: Yes, she is.  
Fizzy: I'm not!  
Danny: She is not.  
Gusty: She will be soon; she's very ill-  
Fizzy: I'm getting better!  
Gusty: No you're not! You'll be stone dead in a moment.  
Danny: I can't take er like that; it's against regulations.  
Fizzy: I don't want to go on the cart!  
Gusty: Oh, don't be such a baby!   
Danny: I can't take er.  
Fizzy: I feel fine.  
Gusty: Look, do us a favor and get rid of this chatterbox?  
Danny: I can't!  
Gusty: Look, can you hang around a couple of minutes; she won't be long.  
Danny: No, I've gotta go to the Party Surprise family; they've lost nine today.  
Gusty: Well, when's your next round?  
Danny: Thursday.  
Fizzy: I think I want to go play jump rope!  
Gusty: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look, isn't there something you can do?  
Fizzy: I feel happy! I feel happy! I feel happy! I feel-[Danny hits Fizzy with his club.]  
Gusty: Whew, thanks very much!  
Danny: Not at all. See ya Thursday.  
Gusty: Right, all right.  
[Majesty and Patsy go by. Danny and Gusty look after them.]  
Gusty: Who's that then?  
Danny: I don't know; must be a queen.  
Gusty: Why?  
Danny: She doesn't got smooze all over er.  
[Scene: Majesty and Patsy are riding through the countryside where peasants are at work with crude tools. A pony is pulling a cart in front of them.]  
Majesty: Old mare![The pair are riding behind but now they draw level.]  
Pony: Stallion!  
Majesty: Stallion, sorry! What knight lives in that castle?  
Pony: I'm thirty seven.  
Majesty: What?  
Pony: I'm thirty seven; I'm not old!  
Majesty: Well, I can't just call you stallion!  
Pony: Well, you could say Apple Jack!  
Majesty: I didn't know you were called Apple Jack.  
Apple Jack: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?  
Majesty: I did say sorry about the old mare thing, but from behind you looked-  
Apple Jack: I object to the fact that you automatically treat me like an inferior!  
Majesty: Well I am Queen.  
Apple Jack: [Stops hauling the cart and shakes his hoof at Majesty] Ah, queen eh? Very nice! And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers, by holding onto outdated imperialist dogma that perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's every going to be any progress-[A strange mare covered in a dirty cloak scrambles down a hill nearby and exclaims]  
Mare: Oh, look Apple Jack! There's some lovely smooze down here! Oh, how'd you do?[Apple Jack and the mare start piling smooze into a pile]  
Majesty: How do you do good mare? I am Majesty, Queen of the Ponies.  
Mare: Queen of the who?  
Majesty: Queen of the Ponies.  
Mare: Who are the Ponies?  
Majesty: Well, we all are. We are all Ponies and I am your queen.  
Mare: I didn't know we had a queen; I thought we lived in a autonomous collective.  
Apple Jack: You're fooling yourself! We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class-  
Mare: Oh, there you go, bringing class into in again!  
Apple Jack: That's what it's all about! If ponies would only share-  
Majesty: Please! Please, good ponies! I am in haste! Who lives in that castle?  
Mare: No one lives there.  
Majesty: Well, who is your lord?  
Mare: We don't have a lord.  
Majesty: What?  
Apple Jack: I told you, we are an anarcho-syndacalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week-  
Majesty: [Getting impatient] Yes-  
Apple Jack: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at the special biweekly meeting-  
Majesty: Yes, I see-  
Apple Jack: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs-  
Majesty: Be quiet!  
Apple Jack: But by two thirds majority in the case of-  
Majesty: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!  
Mare: Order! Who does she think she is?  
Majesty: I am your queen.  
Mare: Well I didn't vote for you.  
Majesty: You don't vote for queen.  
Mare: Well, how'd you become queen then?  
Majesty: Megan of the Mortal World, her arm clad in girlish pink cotton, stretched forth the Rainbow of light from the portal between the worlds, signifying by divine providence that I, Majesty was to carry the Rainbow of Light. That is why I'm your queen!  
Apple Jack: Listen, strange girls crossing dimensions distributing jewelry is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses not from some farcical cute ceremony!  
Majesty: Be quiet!  
Apple Jack: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some mortal brat threw a locket at you!  
Majesty: Shut up!  
Apple Jack: I mean, if I went around, sayin I was an emperor because some psycho child lopped   
a necklace at me, they'd put me away!  
Majesty: [Crosses the low stone wall and starts shaking Apple Jack] Shut up, will you? Shut up!  
Apple Jack: Ah! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!   
Majesty: [Still shaking him] Shut up1  
Apple Jack: Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!  
Majesty: [Lets go and storms away] Bloody peasant!  
Apple Jack: Oh, that's a dead give away! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, ay? That's what I'm on about! Did you see it? Did you see er repressing me?  
[Scene: A forest. The camera switches between Majesty riding and two armored knights fighting in a nearby clearing. Majesty and Patsy watch and as the black pony throw a sword through the green pony's helmet, the pair approach the black knight]  
Majesty: You fight with the strength of many men, sir knight.  
[The black pony does not answer. Patsy shrugs and Majesty clears her throat]  
Majesty: I am Majesty, Queen of the Ponies!  
[Still no answer]  
Majesty: I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Dream Castle.  
[STILL no answer]  
Majesty: You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?  
[You know the drill.]  
Majesty: You make me sad. So be it! Come, Patsy!  
Black Pony: None shall pass!  
Majesty: What?  
Black Pony: None shall pass!  
Majesty: I have no quarrel with you, good sir knight, but I must cross this bridge-  
Black Pony: Then, you will die!  
Majesty: I command you, as Queen of the Ponies to stand aside1  
Black Pony: I move, for no man.  
Majesty: Well, you should move for me then because I'm female and a horse.  
Black Pony: Well then I move for no animal.  
Majesty: Animal! How dare you!  
[The two fight and Majesty cuts off one of the Black Pony's forelegs]  
Majesty: Now, stand aside worthy adversary!  
Black Pony: 'Tis but a scratch.  
Majesty: A scratch? Your foreleg is gone!  
Black Pony: No it isn't.  
Majesty: Well, what's that then?  
Black Pony: I've had worse.  
Majesty: You lie!  
Black Pony: Come on, ya pansy!  
[The two fight again and when the Black Pony charges Majesty she cuts his other foreleg off]  
Majesty: Victory is mine! [Bends down in prayer] We thank thee oh Floom that in thy mercy-  
[Majesty is interrupted by a kick in the head. She lies sprawled on the ground while the Black Pony prances around her.]  
Black Pony: Ha! Come on then!  
Majesty: What?  
Black Pony: Have at you!  
Majesty: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.  
Black Pony: Oh! Had enough ay?  
Majesty: Look you stupid bastard, you've got no forelegs left!  
Black Pony: Yes I have.  
Majesty: Look.  
Black Pony: It's just a flesh wound.[Starts kicking Majesty with his hind legs.]  
Majesty: Look, stop that!  
Black Pony: Chicken, chicken!  
Majesty: I'll have your leg! [Gets kicked again.] Right! [Cuts off his hind leg.]  
Black Pony: [Now hopping around on one leg.] Right, I'll do you for that!  
Majesty: You'll what?  
Black Pony: Come here!  
Majesty: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?  
Black Pony: I'm invincible!  
Majesty: Your a loony! [She tosses her hair.]  
Black Pony: The Black Pony always triumphs! Have at you!  
[Majesty rolls her eyes and cuts off the last leg. The black pony is now lying on its side with no limbs.]  
Black Pony: All right, we'll call it a draw.  
Majesty: Come Patsy! [The two ride off over the bridge. The Black Pony writhes on the ground.]  
Black Pony: Oh I see! Runnin away ay? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's comin to ya! I'll bite your legs off!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
What do you think? I need some help with some future characters, so if you would r/r I could get some spots filled in. I need a "witch" and three peasants for the trial scene and Lancelot, Gallahad, Robin, and Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film. I was thinking Wind Whistler for Bedevere. Any help is greatly appreciated.  
Jinjur 


	2. The Trial and British Horse

I don't own either My Little Pony or Monty Python.  
The Trial and British Rabbit  
  
[Scene: A village square. A line of squirrels wearing monk garb walk around the thatch huts chanting something unintelligible.]  
Monks: Cheechee squeesquee squeakeay[Hit themselves with boards.]  
[A mob of baby ponies run by carrying various toys and pushing a strangely dressed one in front of them.]  
Mob: Witch! Witch! Wiiiitch!!!  
[It stops in front of a platform where Windwhistler is busy trying to make a flying squirrel carry a coconut]  
Baby Lofty: We've found a witch, may we burn er?  
Windwhistler: How did you discern that she is a witch?  
Baby Lofty: What?  
Windwhistler: How do you know she is a witch?  
Baby Ribbon: She look's like one!  
Windwhistler: Present the accused!  
[The mob of baby ponies looks vacantly at her.]  
Windwhistler: [Getting impatient] Bring her forward!  
Moon Dancer: I'm not a witch! I'm not a witch!  
Windwhistler: But you wear the attire of one.  
Mob: Speak English!  
Moon Dancer: They dressed me up like this-  
Mob: No we didn't!  
Moon Dancer: -and these aren't my wings, they're false ones.  
Windwhistler: [Looks scornfully at the crowd.] Well?  
Baby Lofty: Well, we did do the wings...  
Windwhistler: The wings?  
Baby Lofty: ...and the hat, but she is a witch!  
Mob: A witch! A witch! Burn er!  
Windwhistler: Did you put this raiment on her?  
Baby Lofty: We are baby ponies, don't talk like that!  
Windwhistler: Did you dress her up?  
Baby Lofty: No!  
Mob: No, no, no.  
Baby Lofty: Yes, a bit, a bit. She has got a horn!  
[Baby ribbon points this out]  
Windwhistler: Well, so have you! And what makes you think she is a witch?  
Baby Sweet Stuff: Why, she turned me into a skunk!  
Windwhistler: A skunk!  
Baby Sweet Stuff: I got better...  
Baby Ribbon: Burn er anyway!  
Mob: Burn er, burn er!  
[Majesty and Patsy approach and come to a halt nearby to watch the trial.]  
Windwhistler: [Thinking: I've gotta do something about this crowd! Oh well, I guess I'll have to sacrifice Moon Dancer. I never did like her anyway.] Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.  
Baby Lofty: Are there? Well, tell us, tell us!  
Windwhistler: Tell me, what do you do with witches?  
Mob: Burn em! Burn em!  
Windwhistler: And what else do you burn?  
Baby Lofty: More witches!  
[Baby Sweet Stuff smacks her.]  
Baby Ribbon: Wood.  
Windwhistler: Good. Why do witches burn?  
[A long pause ensues in which Baby Lofty sucks meditatively on her rattle.]  
Baby Sweet Stuff: Because they're made of, wood?  
Windwhistler: Good! So, how do we tell if she is made of wood?  
Baby Lofty: Build a seesaw out of er!  
Windwhistler: Ah! But can you not also make seesaws out of plastic?  
Baby Lofty: Oh yeah...  
Windwhistler: Does wood sink in water?  
Baby Lofty: No.  
Baby Ribbon: No, it floats. It floats!  
Baby Lofty: Throw er into the pond!  
[Baby Lofty starts tugging at Moon Dancer and Windwhistler pulls back, eventually winning.]  
Windwhistler: [Regaining control.] What also floats in water?  
Baby Lofty: Rain.  
Baby Ribbon: Apples.  
Baby Sweet Stuff: Very small rocks.  
[Windwhistler is shaking her head.]  
Baby Lofty: Cider.  
Baby Ribbon: Great gravy!  
Baby Sweet Stuff: Churches, churches.  
Baby Lofty: Lead!  
Majesty: A sea pony!  
Windwhistler: Exactly! So, logically...  
Baby Lofty: If she...weighs...the same...as a sea pony...she's made of wood...  
Windwhistler: And therefore...  
Baby Ribbon: A witch!  
Mob: A witch! A witch!  
Windwhistler: I guess we'll use my larger scales.  
[She leaps off the platform and climbs a hill nearby. On the top are two scales. In one, a sea pony named Wave Runner already sits. Moon Dancer is sat in the other one.]  
Windwhistler: Right, remove the supports!  
[The scales are free and they somehow even out that Moon Dancer weighs less than Wave Runner.]  
Moon Dancer: Hah! I told you I wasn't a witch! I'm taking you all to people's court for falsely accusing me!  
[The crowd goes off arguing as Majesty approaches Windwhistler.]  
Windwhistler: Thanks for helping me get rid of that annoying crowd. How did you know that unicorns weigh less than sea ponies?  
Majesty: You have to know this kind of stuff when you are Queen of the Ponies.  
Windwhistler: My liege![Bows]  
Majesty: Good knight, will you come with me to Dream Castle and join us at the Round Table? I am in need of able knights and your intelligence and trickery may come in handy.  
Windwhistler: I would be honored, but I must caution you, I'm usually not quite so underhanded.  
Majesty: Do you always talk like that? What is your name?  
Windwhistler: [Nods.] Windwhistler my liege.  
Majesty: Then I dub you Sir Windwhistler, Knight of the Round Table.  
Narrator: [Sounding suspiciously like Spike, The Book of the Film is shown.] The wise Sir Windwhistler was the first to join Queen Majesty's knights. But other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Magic Star, the Adventurous; Sir Paradise, the Vain; and Sir Shady, the Not-quite-so-adventurous-as-Sir Magic Star,  
who had nearly rescued Baby Lickety Split, who had nearly stood up to Gusty, and who had personally blamed herself for the Smooze; and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. [a picture of Sundance looking really ticked.]  
Together they formed a herd whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries, the knights of the round table.  
[Scene: A road, each pony is trailed by similarly colored bushwoolie carrying a large pack and hitting coconuts together.]  
Windwhistler: And that, my liege, is how the exact circumfrence of the Earth was hypothesized.  
Majesty: Are you sure that the Earth is round? I was so certain that it was heart-shaped. Oh well, this new learning amazes me, Sir Windwhistler. Now tell me again how flowers may be used to keep bad people out of Ponyland?  
Windwhistler: Certainly my liege!  
Magic Star: Look my liege!  
Majesty: Dream Castle!  
Paradise: Dream Castle!  
Magic Star: Dream Castle!  
Patsy: [Turning to another Bushwoolie.]It's only a plastic child's playset!   
Majesty: Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Dream Castle!  
[At this point, Grundles are seen doing a conga line around the castle singing their annoying song: Grundles good! Grundles good! Grundles goooood!]  
Majesty: Shoot! I forgot that we gave it to the Grundles. We're stuck with dumb old Paradise Estate! What's a queen without a castle!  
Magic Star: My liege, we could always take the castle by force. I shall lead the assault, by night, we shall scale the walls and come upon them unawares as they sleep. Then, we shall make them tell us-  
Voice from the sky: Oh, shut up Magic Star! Leave thinking to other people! Majesty, Queen of the Ponies!  
Magic Star: [Looking accusingly at the sky.] Who said that?  
[The clouds in the sky part and Floom is seen peering down at them.]  
Magic Star: Ack! It's the wrath of Floom! [Throws herself down on the ground behind Majesty, the other ponies quickly follow suit.]  
Floom: Oh don't grovel! If it's one thing I can't stand it's people groveling!  
Majesty: Sorry!  
Floom: And don't apologize! Everytime I try to talk to someone it's sorry this or please help me to make Smooze to destroy my enemies...What are you doing now?  
Majesty: I'm averting my eyes Oh Floom.  
Floom: Well don't, it freaks me out. Now knock it off!  
Majesty: Yes Floom.  
Floom: Right, Majesty, Queen of the Ponies, the Grundles which you have so kindly given a home in your kingdom have now outgrown their welcome. Your people grumble against you as food and land grow scarce. Your quest is to find the Holy Grail. It is the only way to get the Smooze out of the Grundles' old kingdom.   
Majesty: Good idea Oh Floom!  
Floom: Of Course it is. Behold Majesty, this is the Holy Grail. [A pink My Little Pony sippy cup is shown glowing from the gap in the clouds.]  
Majesty: Are you sure that's the holy grail? It looks like a plastic cup to me...  
Floom: You dare to question me? The Floom above all Flooms? Just get out of my sight and find the cup or you will regret it! [The clouds boom shut and all the ponies are looking angrily at Majesty.]  
Magic Star: You have brought the wrath of Floom upon us! Now we deffinately have to find that silly cup!  
Paradise: Great going Majesty!  
Shady: We're never going to find that cup!  
Windwhistler: For once, I'd probably have to agree with you, Sir Shady. The probability that we find a plastic cup in the confines of an agrarian kingdom is slim to nil.  
[All the ponies are staring at her.]  
Windwhistler: What?  
Majesty: Would you quit it! You're making my head hurt![Turns to the group] We've just got to start asking around and searching for clues.   
[Scene: The group is riding over green, rollign hills. They come down one and cross a stream where an earth pony is trying to hit an elusive sea pony with a stick. They eventually stop before a castle. Patsy takes out a trumpet and blows on it. It makes a sound strangely like Fizzy's laugh.]  
Majesty: Hello!  
[They wait for an answer.]  
Majesty: Hello?  
[Northstar appears over the battlements.]  
Northstar: Hullo! Who is it?  
Majesty: It is Queen Majesty and these are my knights of the round table. Whose castle is this?  
Northstar: This is the castle of my master.  
Majesty: Who's your master?  
Northstar: [looking confused] I don't know!  
Majesty: What do you mean you don't know?!  
Northstar: I don't know! Someone English I suppose...  
Majesty: What? Oh, nevermind. Tell...whoever's in charge that we have been charged by Floom with a nearly impossible quest. We would greatly appreciate it if, whoever would give us food and shelter for the night and then, perhaps, join us on our quest for the Holy Grail.  
Northstar: Uh, well, I'll ask around, but I don't think anyone would want to go. We've already got one. [Leans over and says to some British lobsterbacks.] I told her we've already got one. [They laugh strange English laughs.]  
Majesty: What?!  
Paradise: She said they've already got one.  
Majesty: Well, uh, can we come up and have a look?  
Northstar: No! You are pony types.  
Majesty: [Looking extrememly confused] Well, what are you then?  
Northstar: I'm English! Why do you think I have this stuffy accent you silly queen.   
Pradise: What are you doing in Ponyland?  
Northstar: Mind your own business!  
Majesty: If you will not show us the grail, we will take your castle by force-  
Northstar: You don't frighten us, cab horses! Go boil your hooves for glue silly sots! I blow my nose at you so called Queen Majesty and your silly goats. [Starts blowing raspberries and dancing about in a crazy way.]  
Paradise: [Sniffing] What an uncouth person.   
Majesty: [Controling her anger] This is outrage! You are a pony! Now, look here my good mare-  
Northstar: I don't wish to talk to you any more you empty-headed cud munchers! I scoff at you. Your mother was a hippo and your father smelt of alfalfa!  
Paradise: Is there anyone civilized up there we can talk to?  
Northstar: No. Now, go away or I will mock you again!  
Majesty: Now this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable-  
Northstar: [Turning to the soldiers] Pitch the pie.  
Soldiers: What?  
Northstar: Pitch the pie!   
[A huge beef shepherd's pie is wheeled out and placed on a catapult.]  
Majesty: If you do not agree to our commands then-[They notice the steaming beef flying at them.] Floomis Christ!  
[Chaos ensues and one of the patsys is hit by the now empty pan.]  
Majesty: Right! Charge!  
Knights: Charge! Charge!  
[The ponies charge the castle and begin attacking the walls with their swords. The British officers are throwing various Anglo-Saxon foodstuffs at them while shouting silly British taunts.]  
Knights: Run away! Run away!  
[Magic Star is still dueling with the walls and she has to be called away by Majesty.]  
Magic Star: Fiends! I'll tear them apart!  
Majesty: No! No, no, no.  
Windwhistler: Majesty. I have a plan.  
[Northstar stands at the battlements. Strange sounds of construction seem to be coming from the woods and she strains to hear them and find where they're coming from. Finally it stops and the patsy's are seen pushing a huge, wooden unicorn to the gates of the castle. They sneak away and the British open the door and argue about whether to bring it in or not. Finally they do and Majesty and Shady come out from behind a hill.]  
Majesty: What's supposed to happen now?  
Shady: Well, Windwhistler told me they are supposed to hide in there until nightfall and jump out taking the British by surprise. As smart as Windwhistler is, it'll never work. It's doomed to failure because I helped build it.  
Majesty: What part did you do?  
Shady: The door.  
[Later, inside the unicorn.]  
Windwhistler: Okay, now we can begin the assault!  
Magic Star and Paradise: Speak English!  
Windwhistler: [Rolling her eyes] I'm surrounded by idiots! We can attack now. Sir Paradise, open the door.  
Paradise: Do I have to? I might chip my hoof..  
Magic Star: Fear not! I will do it!  
[She turns the latch and attempts to shoulder the trap door open. It doesn't budge.]  
Windwhistler: I don't get it [Also pushing at door] Why won't it open?  
[Meanwhile, the British are listening to the ponies' conversation and are wheeling it onto the catapult. It is thrown over the wall and lands on another patsy and freeing the trapped ponies while Majesty and Shady look on in astonishment.]  
Windwhistler: Look, if we build this large wooden heart and Shady doesn't work on it...  
[Majesty hits her and belatedly they all run away screaming.]  
Knights: Run away! Run away!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, what'd you think? Please r/r with any upcoming character suggestions you may have.   
~Jinjur 


End file.
